Still Waters » Dive Deep » Trust

You may want to read the song When the Lights Go Down and the accompanying commentary first before continuing here. Some of what's in these verses would make more sense in comparison to that song.

Trust
by Sarah McLachlan

Somewhere deep inside me,
I hold a picture of a time long gone.
A time of ease, and simple pleasures,
And days in shadows not so long.

Back before a time when she didn't have to worry about getting food on the table, keeping a roof overhead, and making ends meet. Back before her world was turned inside out and upside down. Back before she could no longer tell where the lies ended and the truth began. Whether or not her life is better away from the temple for all intent and purposes, time is kind to the memory, and in the face of current problems, the past takes on an idyllic light.

Now with my mind I'm struggling,
Holding on to what I believe.
Listen to the fragments of my thoughts
That leave me broken and deceived.

This likely needs precious little elaboration, given all I have pointed out on the site and all that I will.

'Cause I don't know the way.
He said "I can take you there,
I can show you places where our time has had no wear."
While the speaker could just as easily be Xellos, it truly sticks in my mind as Valgaav, because he said basically the same thing in TRY. Bring the world back to the beginning, a second chance, a cosmic do-over. A place where time has had no wear.
And as we walked the plains,
The skies, they opened wide,
Revealing all the shame for what's been lost inside us all.

The parallels between TRY and these three lines are probably quite clear for anyone who's seen the final episodes.

It's a day in the life.
In my mind I've seen it all.
Sometime soon for all to see,
The walls are slowly breaking down.
In my mind I've seen it all,
And someday we'll be free.

We're searching for a message,
Or so I thought, but so it seems
The ignorance in the myths of others
Is easier to redeem.

They were attempting to figure out a prophesy in order to save the world from certain destruction, or so they thought. And accepting the ignorance in the lies and stories of the Elders would certainly have been the easier route for Filia to accept, and far less painful. The easy path isn't always the right one, however.

I've never questioned the answers given
To find the faith that's been lost within,
'Cause where I lay my trust in others,
Where it lies, the ground is thin.

Although she did keep asking Valgaav to tell her what happened, asking him for verification, she already knew the answers deep down. She believed him from the start, once she had a chance to think it over. At the end of Episode 8, note the look on Filia's face when she announces she wants to find out the truth of what really happened, the look of anger and betrayal. She later finds out that she was expendable, and that on top of knowing that the people she'd known all her life, the people she grew up with, loved, trusted...they'd lied and betrayed her... how easy would it be for her to trust others? If she couldn't see the deception living with it, how could she be sure she'd see it in others before it was too late?

'Cause I don't know the way.
He said "I can take you there,
I can show you places where our time has had no wear."
And as we walked the plains,
The skies, they opened wide,
Revealing all the shame for what's been lost inside us all.

It's a day in the life.
In my mind I've seen it all.
Sometime soon for all to see,
The walls are slowly breaking down.
In my mind I've seen it all,
And someday we'll be free.

It's a day in the life.
In my mind I've seen it all.
Sometime soon for all to see,
The walls are slowly breaking down.
In my mind I've seen it all,
And someday we'll be free.

I know you say you love me,
If what you say is true.
So show me something that's not deceiving,
'Cause I wouldn't lie to you.

This little bridge I don't think sounds like Filia speaking, but someone else interjecting their thoughts among her own. The speaker could be anyone - Val, Valgaav, Xellos. Like it or not, she's only learned about deception for all her years growing up. And part of the deception she might continue would stem from trying to hide the past from herself so she wouldn't have to deal with it. Putting on a front, the game that she plays, getting through life one day at a time.

It's a day in the life.
In my mind I've seen it all.
Sometime soon for all to see,
The walls are slowly breaking down.
In my mind I've seen it all,
And someday we'll be free.
Filia Ul Copt and The Slayers are the property of: Hajime Kanzaka; Rui Araizumi; Kadokawa Shoten; TV TOKYO; SOFTX; Marubeni. This is a fansite for personal entertainment. No money is made, and there is no affiliation -- either official or un -- with the creators.

The layout graphics, site design, and unless otherwise indicated, the site content are all copyright to Zanne Chaos, 2004.